


If we run off to the stars

by threetimesatrap



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Movie: Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Smuggler Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-03 03:57:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13333011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threetimesatrap/pseuds/threetimesatrap
Summary: **TLJ SPOILERS IN SUMMARY**Ben Solo died the moment his Uncle raised his light saber to strike him down, but he did not listen to the companion in his mind whispering promises of power and fulfilling his grandfathers legacy.Kylo was smuggler and assassin running from his darkness and his past. For years he had been keeping to the Outer Rim his use of the Force limited as he tried to forge his own existence, to cut himself off from his past. A rumor--a chance to find and destroy his Father's precious ship, to cut himself further away from Ben Solo takes him to Jakku. A presence in the Force makes him stay.AU where Ben Solo does not go to Snoke after the events at the Jedi Temple instead reinventing himself as Kylo, a smuggler and assassin with a knack for the impossible.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I found The Last Jedi extremely inspiring and wanted to stretch myself back into writing again. I haven't in some time so any constructive criticism is welcome. This chapter has not been beta read. My hope is to update weekly if I can, I'm hoping this is well received!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reposting now with edits from Starsandsilmarils! Thank you so much for offering to beta for me! I have not written in a while and it's so awesome to have the help! Next chapter is in the works.

 

Where would Ben Solo have been now, were he still alive? Would he have been a good Jedi, like his parents and his uncle had hoped for? One who had never tasted the sweet allure of the Dark Side of the Force? Who would have stayed strong, ignoring the dark whispers that had been in his head since he was a boy? Would he have been able to accept peace, serenity?

 

Could he have moved past his Master – his uncle – trying to murder him as he slept?

 

Kylo leaned back in the pilot’s seat of the Correllian freighter he had won in a game of Sabacc, the story of its acquisition almost nauseatingly similar to the story Han Solo had told of winning his own ship.

 

_"You should have seen the look on Lando's face, kid," his father had said_ _,_ _laughing with tears in his eyes as Chewie let out a roar of agreement beside him. Ben Solo_ _had_ _smiled at his father's story, happy to be on the very ship, happy to be with his_ _f_ _ather and Uncle Chewie as the golden dice from the same game seemed to glow in the light from hyperspace._

 

It was fortunate that Kylo had little interest in doing anything but trading it for another vessel.

 

He was done with his supposed legacy. Years of making his way through life in the Outer Rim, carefully avoiding any Core Worlds, had ensured he would be known only as Kylo: a dangerous smuggler and occasional assassin with a growing reputation for doing the seemingly impossible. Still, there were days much like this one, where he wondered if perhaps he should have listened to the voice – to Snoke – and killed what was left of the Jedi. He would have learned to wield his true power, and fulfilled his grandfather's legacy.

 

In the crucial moment however, as he staggered out of his crumbled hut and away from his former Master, the part of him that was undeniably Leia Organa-Solo's son had spoken: just a whisper through his anger and grief, but it stayed his hand as he stared at the temple. He had taken a breath filled with anger and hate as he searched for, and then found, the defiance, the strength.

 

_Don't tell me what to kriffing do_ , he had thought, before he had slammed down his connection to the Force as hard as he could and fled.

 

He had later heard that the temple had still been destroyed, the Jedi killed. He wondered which of the others Snoke had been whispering to, and how they felt about being the second choice.

 

Kylo sipped his mug of kaf, thinking how he would need a trip to the small fresher in the ship before he moved out of hyperspace. Unloading junk at the nowhere planet Jakku was beneath him, a job he never would have taken, were it not for whispers and its comforting distance from the Core.

 

Rumor said that the Millennium Falcon had been spotted there: old rumors, by any standard, but enough to make Kylo follow them and – and do what he did not know. Blow up the ship? He had not thought that far ahead yet. He just knew he wanted – needed – to shut that last door on his past. Would destroying his father's beloved ship destroy his last thread of connection to Ben Solo?

 

Kylo stood, setting the mug down, and tugged off his clothes as he moved towards the fresher. He was careful only in setting his belt to the side: the blaster obvious, but the lightsaber hidden behind the leather would not be. He used the Force only sparingly; for the first year on the run he had not used it at all. Kylo was powerful, and using too much of that power would risk drawing Snoke's attention back to him. Risk that sweet temptation, and promises of more.

 

The sonic fresher did the job, though he hardly felt any cleaner as he dressed in his new clothes. Greys and black would do him no favors on Jakku, but grey and brown reminded him far too much of the Jedi. So, he stubbornly pulled on his preferred colors, the grey cowl coming up to partly conceal his face.

 

One could never risk Ben Solo being spotted, although he did not plan on staying long. 

 

\---

 

Rey both hated and loved watching the night sky.

 

It had been a long time since seeing ships come into Niima outpost had excited her, and made her feel hopeful that her parents were finally, finally coming back. Still, she watched, looking at the different models and wondering what it would be like to fly one of them. Any ship, really. The simulator inside her AT-AT had nearly been exhausted from overuse, but it made her wonder, made her wish, even as she hopped down to go inside the AT-AT to mark the passing of another day. 

 

The night sky made her think of all she was missing in the galaxy. Stories of the First Order and the Resistance had reached even Jakku, just as some of the few older residents spoke of the legends of the Rebellion and the myth of Luke Skywalker.

 

Her stomach growled and Rey looked to the scrap secured to her speeder. Travelling to Niima outpost at night was a risk, but so was doing it in the morning on a few-days-old empty stomach. Any distraction was weakness, which she could little afford; not when what she had would barely manage to get her enough rations to make it to her next haul, even if she was careful. Chewing her lower lip, she knew she had no choice: she grabbed her staff while mounting the old, shaking speeder, and set course for Niima outpost. Her heart was oddly heavy and her stomach cramped, but she was not sure if it was from the hunger, or something else. It felt like something was coming, that something important was about to happen, that something was waking up and –

 

Rey mentally shook herself, blaming the hunger and the slight chill in the night air as she pushed onwards. Unkar Plutt would only accept scraps for a little longer, and there was no use dawdling on feelings.

 

\--

 

This outpost was absolute filth.

 

Scraps, hulking desert beasts, and merchants trying to sell what meagre offerings they had to any who walked by. He had left his own ship cloaked, a fair distance from the outpost. The Force barrier that he had painstakingly shaped around it would be enough to ward off weak-minded fools, and he highly doubted that there would be another Force Sensitive on this shit hole.

 

Most of the ships were covered, and there were a great many of them. Simply asking would never work, nor did he plan on drawing attention to himself by looking around the yards at night. No, unfortunately this errand might come to require a patience that he sorely lacked. He wanted this done and over with, wanted that piece of junk reduced to ash, if not parts.

 

Or he could tear it out of the junkyard owner’s mind. That held much more appeal. Or blackmail, which would be less obvious, but potentially still enjoyable. Death threats usually worked wonders, but also meant a risk of being remembered a little too clearly if someone came around asking questions.

 

So for now, Kylo observed, keeping to the many shadows that existed in a place like this. He was listening to the life at the outpost, reaching out through his senses when he felt it: it was like a kick to the chest, and he nearly doubled over as he gasped for breath, the cold mix of desert air and sand scratching his lungs.

 

Light, such beautiful, untouched light radiating from the Force. Buried beneath all of the sand and scum of this world, there was something that he had never expected to feel again. Something in another person, that sang to him as his own connection once had. Before he realized, his feet were moving, and Kylo was charging through the outpost. He followed the light as if it were a siren’s song, wondering how something like this could ever have remained hidden. How was that possible? Wouldn't Skywalker have felt it? Wouldn't Snoke have?

 

He stopped in front of a metal shack, eyes flashing past the line of helpless, hopeless souls, settling on the girl in the front with the three buns tied on the back of her head. As she was arguing with the junk boss, her tanned skin glowed softly in the light surrounding her. Kylo was uncertain if it was the light from the shack or from her while he looked at her through the Force. New. Awakened. Untainted.

 

"These were worth a half portion each last week –" she tried, her voice almost desperate as she spoke to the hulking alien behind the counter who was sneering down at her.

 

"One portion. Go to another boss if you want to argue, girl," Unkar Plutt grunted as Kylo approached. He started to turn his head to look at the interloper when Kylo snapped.

 

"You will give the girl what she is asking for," he commanded, the Force in his voice, dark eyes narrowing dangerously. Being this close to her, it was if she were radiating even more of the Force, more of the Light. "And extra for her trouble,” he added.

 

The girl turned her head to gape at him as whispers spread down the line, everyone on edge, preparing for a fight.

 

"I will give the girl what she is asking for," Plutt repeated dutifully, as his meaty hands reached behind him for more packets of what Kylo assumed were the portions, "and give her extra for her trouble."

 

Several packets were slammed down on the counter, and the girl stared at them, briefly in shock, before frantically shoving them into her bag.

 

"You will forget this night happened, pay these scavengers their due, and close for the night," Kylo commanded. The words were still being repeated back to him as he stepped back from the line that was frantically pushing forward, back into the shadows. As if on instinct, the girl stepped towards him, honey-colored eyes wide with confusion and apprehension; both emotions dancing clearly across her dirt-stained face.

 

"I – how did you do that? Why did you do that? What in the Maker's name was that –" she began to babble, staring at this man. His face was hidden by a cloak, and he wore clothing clearly not fit for Jakku. He was clearly an outsider, but he had just forced Plutt – there was no question in that – to give her so much food that she would not starve between hauls for quite some time. 

 

"Who are you?" Kylo asked. All the Jedi from the temple had either turned or died, if rumor was to be believed. And he would have remembered this power, this light, if he had ever met it before.

 

"Me? I'm no one. I'm nothing important – I'm just scavenger," she stuttered, feeling uneasy at the near emotionless calm the man spoke with. At the authority that had been in his voice. And when she was standing so close she felt it again, that twisting to her stomach she had felt earlier –

 

"Funny," Kylo said as he reached out with the Force, wanting to brush against that Light so desperately. It was as tempting as the Darkness, in the way it poured out from her. "Everything you just said…was wrong."

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really apologize for the long gap between updates. The last few weeks have been a mix of vacation, illness, a missing pet (who was found thankfully!). Thank you very much to Starsandsilmarils for offering to beta and for reading this chapter over to fix a few of my grammar quirks. 
> 
> Everyone's feedback was so heartwarming, I hope to continue ironing out my kinks (hah) and to continue to give you all the story you deserve! Please continue the awesome support.

Rey stared at the man in shock, only rigid self-control stopping her from dropping the extra portions she held in her hand. Wrong? How was it possible to be wrong about herself? Who was this man? She couldn't see his face in the dim light of Niima Outpost, especially not with the dark hood over his face, and she had no way of knowing why he had helped her.

 

Did he know her parents? Was that what the question had been about? So many things bubbled into her mind, so many questions she wanted to ask but they all died on her lips, the hope that maybe...just maybe...

 

"Rey, my name is Rey," she said instead, and maybe she had still been hoping for a hint of recognition. For this strange outsider to fling off his cowl and tell her how desperately her parents had been to find her and how glad they were that she was okay--

 

But no such motion came: only the slight tilt of fabric as the man looked at her. She felt as though she were being studied like an especially curious object or beast, and yet it didn't set her teeth on edge as she would have expected. Instead, she felt that twisting in her stomach almost relax, feeling almost warm as they stood across from each other.

 

"You have no idea." His voice was still oddly quiet, and yet there was such wonder there. Rey scowled at him slightly, holding the rations a little tighter to her chest.

 

"Your name," she prompted, only to be met with another few frustrating moments of silence.

 

"Does it matter?" he asked, and Rey swore he was trying to be contradictory. She might have just seen him manipulate Plutt, but she would be damned if she stood here as he spoke in riddles.

 

"It's a bit rude, not giving a name in return," she told him as she began to tuck away the rations she had been holding, wanting to do something to fill this strange silence between them.

 

"Kylo," he finally answered, as she shut her bag. Her gaze snapped up, immediately gawking at him for a little more than a heartbeat. 

 

"Bantha fodder."

 

\--

 

Kylo stared at her, surprised by her swift response. It was strange how quickly she had gathered herself from being stuttering and confused to being so composed, so wary. Though perhaps it did make sense: she was able to survive in this wasteland, after all, and that required more strength than was evident in her thin frame.

 

"Why would a smuggler like Kylo be on Jakku?" she demanded. Kylo wondered if it was something positive or negative that his name was becoming known throughout the galaxy, or at very least in the Outer Rim. Names held power: the power to strike fear or hope in the hearts of all beings. However, with that also came the risk of something Kylo wanted to evade: questions.

 

Though a name was one thing, a face was another…and Kylo was always careful that there was never a face to match the name.

 

"Business," he said, arms folding over his chest as she let out a little huff. A few wisps of her hair moved across her sun-kissed cheeks. 

 

"There's nothing worth much on Jakku." She spoke as if it were the most obvious thing, and before having sensed her, he would have agreed. The Millennium Falcon was not worth the scrap it was made of: it was nothing but a link to his past that needed to be severed, if it was even still on this planet.

 

"There's you." She took a step away from him at that, and Kylo cursed inwardly. She clearly thought he meant something far more nefarious, and if he was not more cautious she would run. Run, and take that blinding light away.

 

Not that he wouldn't be able to find her, not when her presence in the Force seemed to sing to him.

 

"Surely you can feel it," he said quickly, and her feet stopped, her eyes flickering to an old rust bucket of a speeder bike in the distance. She wanted to run, but her curiosity was holding her in place, "inside you. Something that's always been there, that has guided your movements and helped you survive this place."

 

She was staring at him now, and he could see an undercurrent of fear. Fear of him? Or fear that he was right?

 

"You don't need to be afraid, Rey. I feel it as well." His light, his darkness, all woven together in the Force, and both aspects of him were drawn to this young girl. She looked as if she wanted to deny Kylo's words, but each time the denial rose to pass her lips, it seemed that a memory to disprove that protest did as well. Rey was an open book, so expressive in her every emotion that there was no need to touch her mind.

 

"What...what is it?" Rey's voice had become softer as she looked at him, suspicious, but so desperate for answers. He took a step closer and she did not move away.

 

"The Force."

 

\--

 

The Force was a myth. Everyone knew that.

 

Rey should have turned and walked away, dismissed this man claiming to be the smuggler Kylo, and gone back home to her AT-AT. She had enough rations for her to have no need to go scavenging the next day, but Rey knew that it would be folly not to seize the chance to restock her supplies further.

 

She should have.

 

"That's not--that's not possible," Rey insisted, but the words felt false to her. How many times had she moved out of the way of falling debris just in the nick of time? Or had felt compelled to check a seemingly stripped bare piece of salvage and found something of value? Fought off others that should have easily overwhelmed a half starved human girl?

 

But why then had she never been able to do what he had? Convinced Plutt to give her what was owed to her? Or to tell her about her parents?

 

"It is. You know it is. I know you must feel it. It is what drew me to you from across the Outpost." The man claiming to be Kylo took another step towards her. He was tall, much taller than her, and though his hood cast a shadow over the majority of his face, she could now almost make out the shape of his mouth. Soft and full lips, the mouth of a younger man.

 

"We can't talk out here," he said suddenly, and Rey looked around, just now realizing how many eyes were on them. The scavengers who had been waiting at Plutt's, the few other merchants. "Come. We can talk on my ship--"

 

"If you think I'm getting on a ship with you, you're out of your kriffing mind," Rey snapped, once again on the defensive. She was no fool. She knew of far too many other girls who had allowed themselves to be persuaded, only to be jettisoned off to places unknown. Rey did not want to think for what purpose.

 

"Then where, may I ask, do you suggest?" Kylo asked icily, but he didn't argue or try to convince her otherwise. "I hardly see any establishments here where speaking privately is an option.One never knows who could be listening."

 

How paranoid could someone be? She considered their options. She had questions, so many questions, and it seemed Kylo could have answers. Going to his ship was out of the question, but he seemed to think staying in Niima was out of the question as well. Rey didn't like the idea of this strange man in her home, but Rey had the distinct feeling that if she left, she would wake up to find him at her door regardless. _If_ he was telling the truth.  It all sounded so outlandish...

 

Better to have him there on her terms.

 

"Do you have a speeder?" she asked. Kylo raised his shoulders slightly, giving a short, almost dismissive wave of his hand.

 

"One can be acquired easily enough," he said, with the air of a man far too used to things going his way.

 

"Fine, meet me back here after you get one. You're on your own for food and water," she said though Rey knew if push came to shove, she wouldn't let the man starve. "I'll wait an hour."

 

He nodded his assent, turning and taking a few steps before he turned back to look at her, "Don't make me come searching for you, Rey."

 

It felt almost like a promise, and a threat.

 

"Be back in an hour, and you won't have to," she said, stubbornly not willing to yield any ground to this strange man, who spoke of things that should be nothing more than myth, although she felt in her bones were not.

 

She could have sworn she saw a hint of a smile just before he swept off through the small gathering of life forms, vanishing from her sight quickly. Rey moved over to her own speeder, the other scavengers moving out of her way as they greedily clutched their own haul. She heard some say they would be visiting the various small taverns and brothels that had cropped up around the Outpost. It seemed such a waste: better to save for an inevitable dry spell of scavenging, or Plutt squeezing them all the tighter.

 

Rey swiftly moved onto her speeder, staff resting at her side for now as she looked out at the darkness and the sands. It was dangerous to travel so late in the evening: the risk of not seeing a sandstorm or any variety of predators being higher than it was during the day. Not something she would risk with someone inexperienced, but if that man truly was Kylo...well, he could stand his own then.

 

The man must have stories, Rey wondered if the few she had heard were true. A man whose face none had seen, who pulled off near impossible feats of flight, and had allegedly killed three men with a single blaster shot. The man she had met certainly kept his face hidden: not a bad idea for a smuggler trying to escape notice. Yet, going on what little she had seen, he seemed...younger, and oddly quiet for someone with such power. Men with power were rarely quiet about it in Rey's experience, wielding the perception of such power as they would any other weapon. Besides, weren't smugglers supposed to be brash rogues who pulled off their impressive stunts with a devil-may-care grin?

 

Perhaps she had spent too long hearing stories of Han Solo that her expectation of what a smuggler would be like resembled him. Rey wondered if Kylo had ever crossed paths with the man, and perhaps she would add that to the growing list of questions she wanted to ask him.

 

She pulled up her head covering and goggles, it had been nearly an hour since she had let her mind wander filled with far more questions. Rey had tried to sense in herself what Kylo did, what she had sworn she felt in the past, but all she felt was that strange twist in her stomach returning. He had to have been mistaken, and once he realized that, surely he would leave and she would return to her vigil, waiting for a sign of her parents with an amusing story to share once they came back.

 

A low rumble drew her attention to her left as Kylo approached her on an old 74-Z speeder. They weren't common on Jakku and both of her eyebrows shot up hidden by the goggles.

 

"I relieved it from one of the charming junk bosses, if you were wondering," he said and well, yes, she had been. She wanted to ask how he had paid for it--if he had--but ignorance was probably for the best.

 

"You waited," he added as an afterthought, as she turned on her own speeder. The ancient engine turned to life with a few more bangs than the one he was on.

 

"I wanted answers, it seemed this was the best way to get them," she replied, as she hit the side of the speeder hard, finally getting it to fully roar to life.

 

"Sometimes answers bring us only more questions, and little satisfaction," Kylo said, and even over the speeder bikes Rey was certain she heard a hint of bitterness to his words. What kind of past followed a man like Kylo?

 

"Hope you can keep up." She turned and sped forward without another word. His speeder might be in a better condition, but he did not know the sands as she did, especially in the dark. How many times had she taken this same path? She could hardly count, but she had never done this with another person.

 

It was oddly pleasant, though she wondered if perhaps she should have left and tested his claims about the Force. Only time would tell if she had been a fool to invite a man like Kylo to her home.


End file.
